Lazy work shy bastards!

I hear a lot of lazy bastard bashing coming from the government. It's like they want us to hate the lazy more than them or something.
The inference is usually that if benefits get small enough in real terms that will "encourage" the work shy back to work.
Here's a work shy lay about now...

Instead of cutting back further and further to change the lazy. Lets just wave a magic wand.

Shazoop!

I've done it! This and every other lazy work shy slob in the country now wants to work!
Sorted! Problem solved. The Government are going to be so pleased.

Oh right. I don't think I've solved anything.
If everyone who didn't have a job wanted a job that would be a bigger problem than we have now....

.............................

Reading the Daily Mail had done nothing to stop Richward loosing his job.
What it had done though was drum into his head that people on benefits were lazy good for nothing, nice trainer wearing, legal high taking, x-box playing, Jeremy Kyle guests.

And now the country would think that of him.
He really needed this job...

It hadn't started well. The receptionist had called him Richard "Er actually it's Richward."
"Richard?" She answered with a raised eyebrow.
"No Richward. With a er... with a W."
She looked at Richard for a couple of seconds. "If you can just take a seat, Richard, we'll get to you soon."

"At least I'm the only one here for the interview." Thought Richward.

Then the door burst in and they all piled in.
It was like the Jeremy Kyle studio was next door and Jeremy had told them all there was free booze and a buffet next door.
"This where's the jobs are, like?" One of them asked.
"Er no." Richward lied. He didn't need the competition.
"Yeah it is twat face!" Another shouted.

Why had the Government waved that magic wand? Richward wondered. Couldn't they have waited until everyone who wanted work had it? Then they could have fixed this lot.

"Oh, you mean the job interview?" said Richward "It's just back though that door and to the left."
"Aw cheers mate!" Said another of the recently not lazy with some of the worst teeth and best trainers he'd ever seen.

Richward was sweating. The last of them were almost out of the door.
Then the receptionist came in though the other door and said " We're ready for your interview now Richard,"

Richward dived for the exit but it was too late.
"Job interview is that, like?"