Sunday, August 14, 2011

Spleenal goes shopping

Spleenal was thinking of upgrading but couldn't decide between a lap top or a tower. Or maybe he didn't need a new machine? Perhaps he just needed a proper clear out to an external hard drive and maybe a bit more memory?
The man in the shop was helpful...
"Just grab everything you can and sort it out at home later. Anything you don't need you can stick on the bay!"
Humm, it was then when it dawned on Spleenal that this wasn't late night shopping.
This wasn't late night shopping at all!
This was civil unrest!
The phones seemed to be going like hot cakes, did he need a new phone, but his Rio (A Blackberry rip off) seemed to do 8 things, 6 of which he couldn't make it do. To have a phone that would do 96 things, 94 of which he couldn't make it do seemed like a backwards step.
Ronnie was wrestling with his phone desire... "My head's well battered, guy! I can't tell the difference between want and need! Do I need this Fuckin' phone or what!?! It feels like need. It don't feel like want. What's wrong wit' me?"
"You get hammered all day with adverts and placements. They set about trying to make their ting a "must have" item, but what do you do if you ain't got the money? It's not like you can get your self in dept anymore! Bloody bankers!!!"
Spleenal picked up an external hard drive. Two terabytes should be enough shouldn't it?

"What are you looting for?" He asked a youth sorting his first goatee.

"Dude, that is a well complex question! The biggest problem I see is the lack of any social mobility in this country. You get me? People are gonna work hard and sacrifice and that, if they feel like they're workin' towards some fink, in it!
It's the pursuit of happiness!
Without social mobility there's no point in workin' is there? Where's it gonna get ya? This is the abandonment of the pursuit of happiness in favour of the pursuit of pleasure.
People don't fink there's gonna be a better tomorrow so fuck it. Lets have a better today, with sex and drugs and this stolen XBox"
Humm. Spleenal remembered sex and drugs.
"Of course," Continued the youth. "I lack the education to be properly aware of all this and my lack of schooling means I lack the eloquence to tell others how I feel, and to that matter tell my self!
I'm only aware of all this subconsciously though. Consciously I'm only aware of a feeling that tings is crap now and always will for me.
My parents never dun dis 'cause they thought if they worked hard they'd get somefink. That never happened for them, so when they had kids they never told me the same bullshit. Sure effort equals reward, but only sometimes."

"That's... er..." Spleenal faltered.
"Post modern in so far as it's knowing of it's self?" Asked the youth.
"Er yeah." Spleenal said. "So I've got a job, a house, an education. Why am I here?"
"That's easy." Said the youth. "You're an ass hole!"

"Oh, right." Said Spleenal.

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some sort of artist or something. with problems and issues. I draw stuff
All cartoons and original writing ©Nigel Auchterlounie 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012